Yes, they still think I’m a moron. I think it’s getting worse. I can’t wrap my head around it – I guess they are not ever going to get past my “racial handicap.” I should explain.
For the past week, Mr. Kim and Ms. Shin have been telling me that I will visit Dalseong High School on June 5th for an open class. At least twice a day, they bust out the calendar and point to June 5th. They say “you go Dalseong High School to class open.” At first, I would say, “OK, I will go to Dalseong High School for an open class. I will go on June 5. I understand.” After a few more days of this, I decided to have some fun with it. ”Which school do I go to on July 13th?” or “Why am I going to an open class at Daeshil Elementary School on February 11th?”
Of course, they never understood the sarcasm. They just kept correcting me until one of us had to leave for class. This is no longer about making a point – it’s about trying to squeeze a little fun out of the hell that is my work day.
They really stepped up their game today. I came as close as I’ve ever come to flipping out on them. It all started when Mr. Kim pulled a calendar out of his drawer (again) and began to explain that I will be attending an open class at Dalseong High School tomorrow. I spared him the jokes and said “OK, I understand.” I went directly to my computer and searched for the school on Google Maps. I couldn’t find it by searching in English, so I tried Korean. And there it was.
I was a bit worried that I might have made a mistake since my Korean spelling is pretty weak, so I asked Mr. Kim to confirm that the school on the map was correct. He came over, looked at it, and said “Oh yes. That is school for tomorrow. You will go there for open class. That is Dalseong High School.” (I KNOW THAT, I JUST LOOKED IT UP! )
He just couldn’t leave well enough alone. He decided to explain to me how I should get from the subway station to the school. This wouldn’t have been so insulting were it not for the fact that the subway stop literally touches the school property on the map. I told him, “I’ll just get out at Exit 3. I think I can find it.”
Mr. Kim: Yes, Exit 3. Good job. When leave Exit 3, just go here (pointing at the school). This is school.
Me: Yes. I remember…from ten seconds ago.
Mr. Kim: If want, you take Exit 1 or 2. Maybe Exit 4 also. Do not take other exit, you will lost.
Me: You seriously think that I would get lost if I took exit 5?
Mr. Kim: Yes, no take Exit 5. You can take Exit 1, or Exit 2, or Exit 3, or Exit 4.
Me: OK, I want you to make me a promise. If I get lost between the station and the school, which is about twenty feet, I want you to kill me. I should not be allowed to procreate if I get lost. This doesn’t even involve crossing the street.
Mr. Kim: No, no. It be ok. You call me if lost.
Mr. Kim: Do you remember how to subway? Not forget transportation card.
Me: I’m done.
I understand that they are trying to help me and that this is borne of genuine concern…but it’s getting old nonetheless. I swear I’m going to lose it. Vacation can’t get here soon enough.
Until next time.